


Hamburg

by SRLoftis



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: And Odette is a real human being with depth of character, But Rory still is a little, F/F, F/M, I am fairly new to posting on AO3, I didn't mean for it to be, Logan-centric I guess, Revival Redemption, So be kind and constructive thanks love you bye, Where Logan isn't the worst, but it just turned out that way, love me please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8816572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRLoftis/pseuds/SRLoftis
Summary: Rory Gilmore: a name he could never forget. More than a name in every sense. To Logan, it's a name that means love, and it might be a little pathetic that it always will. If there’s anything he knows after eight and a half years, it's that.Revival character redemption, because we need it. Definite revival spoilers, as it's set before and during the revival.





	1. When are you going to call Rory Gilmore?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is like, one of my first AO3 fics ever, so I'd love feedback and your thoughts. Just something I wanted to write after the Revival, because I needed to fix some things (like many others). So this is my version. I hope you all enjoy it.

Rory Gilmore: a name he could never forget. More than a name in every sense. To Logan, it's a name that means love, and it might be a little pathetic that it always will. If there’s anything he knows after eight and a half years, it's that.

Odette is definitely  _ not _ Rory Gilmore. She’s great; she’s certainly someone with whom Logan can have a good honest conversation. They’re friends. Friends who sleep together occasionally. Friends who go on dates together. Friends who meet each other’s parents. Friends who get engaged, apparently. Best friends. But they're not in love.

She’s been there almost since Rory wasn’t anymore, so she knows all about Rory Gilmore. She hopes to meet her one day.

He remembers clearly when she’d first smelled the story on him, figured out that he was deeply heartbroken.

They’d been out with Colin and Finn, and over drinks, one of the boys had mentioned the Tragedy with a capital T. Odette had pounced on him and demanded to hear the whole story. Somehow, it had poured out of his mouth before he’d had a chance to give it a second thought, with comical interjections by his college friends, of course.

After that, she’d asked him about it as much as his mood had allowed for it. Questions like, “So why did you fall in love with Rory Gilmore then?” and “What does Rory Gilmore drink?” The questions about Rory are never ending with Odette.

“Does Rory Gilmore have curly or straight hair? Blue eyes or brown? When did you know you wanted to marry Rory Gilmore? Do you think you’ll ever forget about Rory Gilmore? What was the best thing Rory Gilmore ever said to you? Do you think Rory Gilmore is happy? Do you ever wonder where Rory Gilmore lives now? Do you think Rory Gilmore is friends with President Obama? Do you think Rory Gilmore visits the Obamas over the summer at the White House? When do you think Rory Gilmore will publish her first book? What will Rory Gilmore’s first novel be about? What is your absolutely favourite thing about Rory Gilmore, you can only choose one.

“When are you going to call Rory Gilmore?” has always been her most incessant question. At least once a week she asks him. On the phone, over dinner, in a text message. “When Logan? You are an idiot, and you don’t deserve her, but you should still call,” she adds every once in a while.

Mostly he answers offhandedly. “After I earn my first million at least,” he says one time. Another he answers with, “When my father stops being disappointed in me.” Sometimes he says dumb things like, “When Pluto’s declared a planet again,” or, “When Bob Saget dies.”

Last week when she’d asked, he’d said, “When I forget the name of the town selectman in Stars Hollow.”

Odette had responded with, “That man you’re so fascinated with? Taylor somebody? So never then.” He feels like that sums up his feelings about calling Rory in a nutshell.

-

One day, when it’s been over eight years since he last saw Rory Gilmore face to face, he gets a text from Odette.

_ ‘Are you ever going to call Rory Gilmore?’ _

She’s never asked him like that before. It catches him off guard. Somehow it convinces him to answer seriously for once. All he texts back in response is,  _ ‘No.’ _

His phone begins ringing and her name appears on his screen. “Odette?” is how he greets her.

“Logan… can we get married?”

His stunned silence lasts for too long, apparently. “Logan?” she says again. “Are you there?”

“Yeah, I… I’m here Odette. You… wanna get  _ married _ ?” His shock is evident.

“Well… yeah. I wanna get married.” There is an unidentified emotion in her voice that Logan can’t quite put his finger on.

“To me? You want to get married to me? Just to clarify, you’re talking about marrying  _ me _ ? Logan Huntzberger?”

Odette sighs in frustration at him. “Yes Logan. Just… obviously it wouldn’t be, y’know, a permanent marriage. Just… for show.”

Logan takes another second to assess the situation. “This is about your parents, isn’t it?”

There’s a pause on her end now. Then she says, “Yeah. I mean, they already think we’ve been dating a few years, y’know. And they love you. And… well, we wouldn’t have to be committed to each other or anything. I don’t care whether you date other girls or whatever. I just… I need this.”

“Odette…”

She hears the concern in his voice before he can go on. “No Logan, I know what you’re gonna say, and I can’t. My parents just… aren’t ready. But I… I need something to distract them from the truth. Y’know, lead them on just a little longer. They uh… something was said and now they’re suspicious about some things.”

“Bobby’s gonna kill me,” Logan laughs incredulously.

“Bobby doesn’t have to know, okay? Not yet.” Odette takes a steadying breath and says, “So we’ve gotta make up a believable proposal story. And you’ve gotta, y’know, come up with something to tell your family too. Seeing as they know we’re not actually dating. Unlike my parents.”

Logan scoffs. “Don’t worry about it. My parents wish we  _ were _ dating, they mention it periodically. You’re practically in the royal family,” he says in his best imitation of his mother’s voice. “I’m pretty sure an easy lie about how I suddenly discovered my undying love for you and want to spend the rest of my life with you will go down a treat.”

“Then you’ll do it?” Odette asks hopefully.

Logan pauses again. There’s doubt in his voice when he says, “Odette, I really think you should talk to Bobby about this before you–”

“Bobby and I are not currently on speaking terms, okay? Just forget it. Are you my best friend or not?” Her voice sounds clipped. Clearly something’s up with her.

“That’s not really a fair question. You know I am. What’s going on with you? Is everything okay?”

He can practically hear the frown in her voice when she says, “I don’t want to talk about it. Later, okay? What I’m worried about right now is making my parents happy and distracted.”

“Okay, fine. But five years. That’s my max,” he says.

“Right,” she says. “Five years max. I promise.”

“And, y’know, if I find someone else or… something. You have to give me an out.”

She snorts. “Right. Sure. If you find someone else.”

“Odette,” he says, his eyes narrowing.

“I was agreeing with you!” she says, and he can hear the laugh she’s withholding.

“It was your tone. Just… I won’t ask you about Bobby if you’ll stop asking me about Rory.” He feels like he can make a few demands, because it’s a  _ big _ thing she’s asking of him. And this is his number one request.

She sighs. “I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I thought there was any chance at all that you’d actually pick up your phone and call that girl.”

“So. Stop asking.”

“Okay,” she says after a second. “I will stop asking.”

“So should I start telling people we’re engaged?” he asks.

She scoffs and he can imagine her rolling her eyes. “Not likely. You haven’t proposed yet. I’m coming to visit in two weeks, and you have to ask for my parents’ permission before that. And then you’ll propose, and  _ then _ we’ll be engaged and you can start telling people. I’ve already picked out a ring. I’ll text you the address to pick it up for me.”

“Odette. I’m not actually going to propose to you, I hope you know that.” That’s asking too much. Surely she knows what horrible memories it’ll bring back for him.

“Obviously. I just meant, y’know, that’s the day we’ll  _ tell _ everyone you proposed,” she explains. “And I guess if you want to, you can warn your own parents about the engagement or whatever. S’up to you.”

Logan chuckles and tries to imagine his dad’s reaction without forewarning. No. That seems like a terrible idea. “I think I should probably give them some kind of heads up, yeah. So I’ll see you in a couple weeks and we’ll hash out all the gory details?”

“Mmhmm. I’ll concoct a scheme between now and then,” she says. “You’re the best friend a girl could have. Love you, bye.” And then she hangs up, just like that.

Logan starts to wonder about five seconds later what the hell he’s gotten himself into.

-

A few days later, he gets a text from Bobby.

_ ‘So what ridiculous stunt has Odette come up with since our fight then?’ _

He replies simply with,  _ ‘Something crazy,’ _ because Odette told him not to tell Bobby anything. He adds,  _ ‘What’d you guys break up over this time?’ _

Bobby’s response is not a shock to Logan.  _ ‘Surprised she didn’t tell you. But it was the usual. Didn’t want her precious, pretentious parents to find out she’s in love with a woman. I got sick of lying about it.’ _

Logan feels a familiar ache in his chest at the words on his phone. He knows Odette’s struggle not to disappoint her parents all too well. Not that he can remotely relate to the subject matter. And though he doesn’t exactly agree with Odette’s solution, he’s not sure what else he can do to help anymore.

_ So _ , he thinks to himself.  _ I guess I’m getting married. _  
  


_ - _


	2. Do you think Rory Gilmore still has all her teeth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamburg, of all places, is not somewhere he’d ever considered being worried about running into Rory Gilmore. Stars Hollow, definitely, for obvious reasons. Hartford, sure, there’s an argument to be made. Yale and New Haven on homecoming weekends and any class reunions. He waits till the absolute last minute and checks guest lists before agreeing to attend any Life and Death Brigade events. Seeing her in Hamburg catches him off guard a little. Or a lot.

Hamburg, of all places, is not somewhere he’d ever considered being worried about running into Rory Gilmore. Stars Hollow, definitely, for obvious reasons. Hartford, sure, there’s an argument to be made. Yale and New Haven on homecoming weekends and any class reunions. He waits till the absolute last minute and checks guest lists before agreeing to attend any Life and Death Brigade events.

He’s made it abundantly clear to Colin, Finn and Robert that Rory is never to be invited to any parties until he’s absolutely sure he can’t make it. This message has also been communicated to Juliet and Rosemary, who once hosted a party and didn’t tell Logan Rory was coming. Luckily, she’d flaked at the last minute, but it had been a close call, and Logan still shudders thinking about it now.

Seeing her in Hamburg catches him off guard a little. Or a lot. His first instinct is to text Odette.

_ ‘You’ll never guess who I’ve just found in Hamburg,’ _ he says, deigning not to answer her plethora of text messages bothering him for an answer. If there’s anything Odette can’t stand, it’s not knowing something.

She looks absolutely fetching in red. He’s not used to seeing her in bright colours, but it suits her. He sees her laugh at whatever the person she’s speaking to has just said, and one of Odette’s questions pops into his head:  _ Do you think Rory Gilmore still has all her teeth? _ He makes a note to let Odette know that she does.

That thought opens a door in his brain for a myriad of her dumb questions to start presenting themselves to him. He’s afraid when he finally gets up the courage to say something to her – god, did he used to be this pathetic back in college? – that something like  _ Have you seen  _ The Interview _ and did you like it? Personally I prefer  _ Pineapple Express, will come out of his mouth instead of something suave and intelligent. Which is what he’s trying to plan in his head. But all he can think about right now is  _ Do you think that Rory Gilmore still loved Jess when you two had that fight in that bar that you broke up over? Or didn’t break up over or… whatever? _ He has an urge to text Odette an incredibly angry text message. Damn her and her stupid, incessant questions.

He wracks his brains to try and remember what job she’s in at the moment, because Odette makes sure he’s updated when Rory Gilmore’s employment status changes. She was working on the Obama campaign and then in the Presidential press pool for four years, and then she’d moved on to helping Hugh with the editing and curating of his site and any other journalistic tidbits he’d needed. After a year of that, she’d gotten antsy again and decided to freelance. She’d mostly been writing on spec for blogs and online news sites since then, with a brief stint at an indie New York magazine with low circulation, writing a two hundred word column on small town life for miles less than she should have been paid. He may have read it a few times, and it was funny, entertaining and enlightening. Only Rory could manage all that in two hundred words.

What Logan has no clue of now is whether she’s still freelancing. And if so, why is she here in Hamburg, at a HPG conference? It’d be just like his dad to hire her and not mention a word of it to his son. They’ve recovered from many of the issues they’d fought over during Logan’s college years, but it’s always a work in progress with Mitchum.

He knows he should just waltz up to her, say hi, and ask her why she’s here, but he’s afraid she’ll be upset if he doesn’t know something he  _ should _ know. Like that she’s working under the HPG umbrella now. Which, to be fair,  _ is _ something he should know, if it’s true. Odette would be boxing him around the ears in annoyance if she were here to watch him. He can imagine her staging a scenario where she shoves him into Rory violently. He’s glad she’s not here.

Bobby’s here somewhere, of course, but he’s been avoiding her like the plague. The last thing he wants is a tongue-lashing from his fiancée’s girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend, who ever knows with those two – and he’s not sure yet whether Bobby’s heard the, uh,  _ good _ news anyway. And he doesn’t trust himself to be within fifty feet of her without spilling the tea. She’s always had ways of making him talk.

So his options seem to be 1. find something to say to Rory or 2. lose his opportunity and slunk home to his fake fiancée only to have her yell expletives at him until his ears bleed for giving up his one and only chance to win back  _ the _ Rory Gilmore. It seems like a gross oversimplification, but he’s starting to consider the possibility that it’s actually that cut and dry.

She hasn’t noticed him yet, though it’s a HPG conference, so she must have at least thought about the chance that they could run into each other again. Although he has no reason to believe she’d know he’s back working with his father. She’d broken up with him after all. Sort of. A bit. God, he hates himself.

He’s still weighing up his options and ignoring his father’s colleagues who have been prattling away at him for at least fifteen minutes when she and someone he vaguely recognises join their little group. Whoever the man is, he seems to know Rory; his hand is placed firmly in the small of her back. Logan absolutely hates how instantly he loathes the man for such a simple and potentially innocent gesture.

“Now  _ this _ is someone you need to meet Rory,” the man says, clapping a hand on Logan’s shoulder and then exchanging a few greetings with the other men in the circle. So another of Mitchum’s friends or colleagues then. But his hand has dropped away from contact with Rory, which is mostly what Logan cares about. And to think they haven’t exchanged so much as a word in eight years.

“This is Logan Huntzberger, Mitchum Hutzberger’s son. Following bravely in his father’s footsteps,” the man continues his introduction. Rory, of course, is already looking at Logan and there is a look of not so much surprise as interest.

“I appreciate the introduction Mr.?” He raises his eyebrows and extends his hand for a handshake, hoping the man won’t be offended that he doesn’t know him.

“Farley. I worked with your father years ago, he’s asked me to come and speak,” he answers, heartily shaking Logan’s hand.

“Mr. Farley, of course.” He has in fact heard of the man from his father, but now he can put a face to the name. “My apologies. Great to meet you. And I do appreciate the introduction, but let me assure you, I am thoroughly acquainted with Rory Gilmore.” He turns his attention on the woman he hasn’t seen in eight years and that he has thought of every day, every hour since then. “It’s great to see you… Rory.” He’d almost let his personal nickname for her slip from his tongue. It’d be too easy.

She smiles at him and leans forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. He thinks maybe his heart skips a beat. Pathetic.

“You too Logan. I was hoping I might run into you here. It’d be nice to catch up.” She actually sounds sincere too, which makes his heart beat faster.

“And how in the heck do you two know each other then?” Mr. Farley interjects.

Rory smiles at the man and says, “We knew each other at Yale, actually; we were close. But it’s been a while.” And then her smile is redirected at Logan.

“Yes, and I think I probably owe you a coffee or two. Care to grab a cup?” He grins at her, resisting the urge to wink. Like Rory would ever refuse the offer of coffee.

“Mm, I think that time you hired a coffee cart and barista to follow me around all day probably makes up for any coffees you might have owed me, but you know I would never say no to coffee.” She grins back and they excuse themselves from the older gentlemen. Rory starts to make her way towards the table set up in the small greeting room for the guests to make themselves coffee and tea, but Logan puts a hand on her arm to stop her, giving her a small quirk of his lips in a smile and jerking his head in the direction of the door.

“Come on, we’ve got time, let’s go get a real coffee. Seems a shame to stay inside all day in Hamburg on a lovely spring day like today.”

-

“So, the obvious question: what are you doing _here_?”

They’re walking and talking while they drink their coffee, because it really is a lovely day and they’re just going to have to go back into the conference hall in forty minutes or so and sit some more.

Rory rolls her eyes at Logan and says, “I could ask you the same question. This wasn’t exactly the career trajectory you were on last time we spoke.”

He smiles to himself and says, “You’re right. I was completely against working for my father. I wanted to make something on my own and do things to prove that I didn’t need him.”

“So did you?”

“I’m here, aren’t  I? I hope you don’t think so little of me that you’d imagine I’d come crawling back to the family fold without something to show for it.” It bothers him that she even has to ask.

Her chin tilts up a little and she doesn’t smile exactly, but there’s something on her face. Pride maybe. She’s proud of him. “Good. I’m glad. You should get to define the terms with your father sometimes.” Not that either of them could fool themselves into thinking anyone could get their way with Mitchum Huntzberger in the long run.

“We were supposed to be talking about you,” Logan says with a smile and a narrowing of his eyes. “I imagine you’ve had a much more interesting journey getting here than I have.”

She shrugs, tapping her fingers on her coffee cup. “Well, I did have two stopovers, three delays and one hell of an awful cab ride, and I imagine you just flew the family jet or something, so I’d have to agree.”

He laughs. It’s nice to laugh at Rory Gilmore again. “God, I’ve missed you.” Oops. He hadn’t meant for that to slip out.

She looks at him in interest. “I’ve missed you too. I didn’t… I didn’t want to… reach out or anything, after… everything that happened. I didn’t want to overstep.” She looks down at the coffee in her hands for a moment. “But a couple months ago, when I was visiting my mom, Taylor Doose, the Stars Hollow town selectman, I don’t know if you remember him, he was the one with the idea about the hay–"

“The hay bale maze,” he interrupts. “I remember.”

“Well, he came up with an idea for how to turn all the local businesses into places that hipsters wanted to hang out. He had this five point plan, he was going to make everyone refurnish in industrial themes and recycled wood furniture and everything, and he was gonna make Luke get a real espresso machine and train baristas and hire barbers to cut the customers’ hair while they ate, but then there was the hygiene issue of cutting hair around the food and… well, point is, I wanted to tell you, because I thought you’d enjoy it.”

Logan can’t keep the grin off his face. He doesn’t really bother trying. “I definitely like that story. God, Taylor is a mad genius. I hope you have more stories like that.”

Rory grins too. “Oh, I have _tons_! If you liked that one, you’ll love the one about his town wide plan for Netflix and chill! I think I have notes somewhere. I’ve been saving them up, just in case.”

He liked the story, but he loves the sound of _just in case_.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a multi-chapter fic, but I don't know how long exactly it's going to be. My plan, at the moment, is to go from this starting point I've created for myself and continue till the end(ish) of the Revival. And then I'll see what happens. But I hope you're all enjoying the story. Hopefully I'll post more soon. It seems to just be flowing out of me at the moment.


	3. What does Rory Gilmore's iPhone call her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have to promise, or I can’t tell you,” she says, trying to hide her grin behind another sip of her martini.
> 
> “Come on Ace,” he says, the nickname slipping easily from his lips. She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He grins, narrowing his eyes. “Fine, I promise. Why, did you do something illegal again?”
> 
> She rolls her eyes, still grinning. “Not exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos. Hope you guys continue to enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated.

“You never told me why you’re here. At the Huntzberger Group conference that is.” Logan is having possibly the best day he’s had in over eight years. He and Rory are at dinner now, and though it’s been hours, he feels like they’ve been talking for about twenty minutes. There’s so much to catch up on. He has so much he wants to tell her.

“If you’re hoping for an interesting story, I’m going to have to disappoint you,” she says, taking a drink of her martini and contemplating him in interest.

“Doesn’t have to be interesting, it just has to curb my curiosity,” he says with an eyebrow raise. “Is there a reason you’re putting it off?” He smirks at her.

She purses her lips in guilt. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

He laughs in confusion at her. “What? Why?”

“You have to promise, or I can’t tell you,” she says, trying to hide her grin behind another sip of her martini.

“Come on Ace,” he says, the nickname slipping easily from his lips. She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He grins, narrowing his eyes. “Fine, I promise. Why, did you do something illegal again?”

She rolls her eyes, still grinning. “Not exactly.”

“Not exactly? Now I’m extra curious.”

“Well, I have a friend I used to work with at Hugh’s company, and she works for the Huntzberger Group now. And she…” She seems to be struggling for the right words to explain the situation. “Well, she couldn’t make it, because of… a prior engagement. But she’s only just started the job and she was supposed to attend the conference as part of her job training. So she’s paying me to take extensive notes and write up a report for her.” She shrugs, trying not to smile, and sips her martini.

Logan laughs – he’s laughed more today than in the last year of his life – and hits the table in amusement. “Are you pretending to be her?”

“A little.” Her face is turning a lovely shade of pink at the admission. It makes Logan happy. Well, happi _er_.

“So,” he says, still sitting back casually in his seat but piercing her with his eyes. He’s still grinning a little too. “What does Rory Gilmore’s iPhone call her?”

Rory’s brow furrows and she looks at him as though he’s a little crazy. “Why in the world would you want to know that?”

Logan just keeps grinning. “Oh, just something Finn or somebody was wondering the other day.” That’s a lie, it's definitely one of Odette’s questions.

Rory raises her eyebrows skeptically. “Okay. Tell Finn or  _ somebody _ that Siri calls me Master and Commander.”

Logan’s eyes widen and he feels the involuntary smile spread across his face as he leans forward in his chair. “Seriously?”

She laughs. “Yeah. I didn’t think you’d remember.”

He gives her an expression of mock offense. “Coming from the person who couldn’t figure out for a good sixteen hours or so what the rocket was for.”

“How did you know about that?” she says with a laugh. “I never told you how long it took me to figure it out.”

“Well,” he shrugs and gives a beatific smile. “When I first spoke to you about it, you didn’t seem that excited. And then you called me again, in the middle of the night your time, and wouldn’t stop yelling down the phone line how much you loved the gift. It wasn't a logical leap to assume you'd just lied the first time.”

“God, I can’t believe you can remember all that so clearly. That was nine years ago now.” Despite her words, Logan can see that the idea pleases her. She likes that he remembers.

“Hmm, nine years and I still have perfect recall. What does that tell you?” It’s a bold move, but he lets it sit and takes a swig of his drink.

They’re all but finished eating, but he’s not ready to say goodbye. It’s only a two day conference, and he has to leave by 12 tomorrow to be back in London for work. There is a feeling of dread and panic that is slowly creeping up on him and he wants to stop it in its tracks, but the idea of having to say goodbye to Rory elicits a noticeable tightness in his throat.

“That you have regrets, I’m hoping.” Her words ignite hope in his chest while simultaneously delivering a sharp stab of pain to his pride, among other things. He was hoping he’d never have to have this conversation.

He sighs and sets his drink down. “I was wrong. Is that what you want? You know I was. We both know I was wrong. I was stupid and wrong and the moment I let you walk away I was absolutely furious with myself. But you must know that. I’ve agonised over it for eight years. You  _ know _ I regret it.”

She shrugs. “It’s nice to hear you say it.”

“Well then I’m sorry,” he says in his usual sincere tone: serious but light. “I told you I would factor you in, and then I went ahead and made a bunch of stupid plans without ever asking you about it. And we were too young and I hated myself for that stupid speech about not wanting to move backwards. I still hate myself.”

“Well  _ I _ don’t hate you,” she says, colour returning to her tone rather than the no-nonsense note to her voice from a moment ago. She leans forward and places her hand on his forearm. “I  _ miss _ you, I think about you a lot; sometimes I get angry. But I definitely don’t hate you.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” He lets a little of his hurt leak into his voice.

“I couldn’t call!” she says, throwing her arms in the air. “You were the one who ended it, and I didn’t want to call and tell you how miserable I was when I knew I couldn’t tell you what you wanted. I don’t regret my decision Logan. I wasn’t ready to get married, to anyone.”

He sighs and puts his head in one hand. “I know, I know. I should have called. It was on me. You hurt my pride and tore down the perfect picture I had in my head, so I drove you away and then hated myself for eight years because of it, instead of doing something about it. This is on me, I know that.”

“As long as we’re clear on that,” she says, frowning and downing the rest of her martini. The sight of her empty glass causes the panic from earlier to bloom in his chest once more. He’d forgotten about it while they’d argued.

“Do you want another drink?” He’s begging her to say yes in his mind, but he has to at least try to appear somewhat calm on the outside.

She looks like she’s mulling it over, writing a mental pros and cons list, but after a moment, she says, “Yeah. I do.” It’s decisive and it doesn’t seem to him like she’s saying yes to one martini.

“You do?” he quips, hoping he’s not reading too much into her words. They’ve always had their own way of understanding each other.

“I do,” she says again, lighter, raising her eyebrows as if to challenge him.

“Me too.” He hopes she can detect the weight in his words. But just in case she can’t, he adds, “Really.”

There’s a hint of a smile on her face. “So you’re not gonna tell on me, about the whole conference thing?”

He laughs. “Depends.”

“On what?” she says indignantly.

He shrugs, downing the remainder of his own drink. “Dunno.” He winks at her and smirks.

-

So in retrospect, he probably should have told her about Odette  _ before _ they’d slept together. But god, he’d forgotten how incredible everything is with Rory. It’s like he’d been asleep, and now that Rory’s back he’s wide awake again. He feels more, he sees more, there’s more colour in the world. They’ve been lying in bed, just talking, for hours; he’s honestly not even sure what time it is.

She’s in the middle of a story about a horrible man on the Presidential press pool circa 2006 when his phone rings, lying between them on the bed. It’s Odette.

As always, even exhausted and at all hours of the morning, Rory is quick on her feet. “Odette. Who’s that, your pet swan? Does she turn into a beautiful princess when the moonlight hits the lake?”

Logan sighs instead of laughing. Because he’s just remembered that he has to explain Odette. “I don’t know why she’s calling, it’s close to 5 in the morning.”

Rory catches his tone. “Logan. Who’s Odette?”

He rubs his face and says, “She’s my fiancée.” Okay, so he probably shouldn’t have opened with that, but in his defence, it’s 5 in the morning and they’ve been up all night.

“What?” Rory looks absolutely horrified. It’s understandable. “You’re engaged?”

“Sort of.” He should probably try to say more than ‘sort of’ but he’s not sure where to start.

“Sort of? Are you or aren’t you engaged?” Rory sits up in the bed and looks down at Logan, a wounded look on her face.

Logan sighs again and props himself up on an elbow. “I am, but–”

“Oh my god!”

“Rory, it just happened last week and it’s...  you have to let me explain.” He’s not doing a great job of it so far, but if she’ll give him a second, he’s sure he can make a quick recovery.

“No! Oh my god, I can’t believe I thought… and you… god, I’m the other woman _again_.” He knows she’s referring to her first boyfriend Dean when she says that. She’s not looking at him and seems to be talking to herself more than anything else. She keeps mumbling as she gets out of the bed and starts getting dressed. “Of  _ course _ this would happen, only the great Rory Gilmore could get herself into a situation like this more than once. Rory Gilmore, the professional homewrecker. Can’t get a job in journalism to save her life, but just  _ great _ at swooping in and stealing your man.”

Logan sits up. “Rory, wait, you have to let me explain.” His phone starts ringing again, Odette’s name still flashing on the screen.

“No!” Rory shouts, stopping in her tracks for a moment to look at him. “No, I don’t want to know anything about her. That’ll make it worse.” She begins gathering her things and he realises she’s going to leave. “What am I even…” She stops again and puts a hand to her head. “Oh god, Paul!”

Logan climbs out of the bed. “Who’s Paul?”

“Logan, you… this was obviously a terrible mistake. It’s up to you whether you tell your fiancée about this I guess, but _please_ , don’t tell anyone I know. Please.” And with that, she grabs her handbag from where it’s sitting on the lamp table by the door and lets herself out of the room.

He contemplates going after her, but only gets as far as the hallway when he sees the elevator doors closing behind her already. He’s not wearing a lot, so he figures he’ll corner her at the conference.

-

She’s nowhere to be found the rest of the day. She seems to have cut and run early, and he’s absolutely horrified at himself for how he handled this particular gaff. He calls her several times, the first time he’s used her number in years, but it goes through to her voicemail, where she talks about where she can be reached and whether prospective employers should leave their pitches on her voicemail or not. It’s so Rory. Something aches a little in his chest when he realises he genuinely could have called her all these years.

Eventually, he calls Odette, who has been bombarding him with phone calls and text messages since her initial onslaught at 5am.

“Nice to know his highness has deigned to bless me with his attention,” is her snippy answer.

“Not now Odette,” he says, and he’s a little ashamed at the evidence of despair in his voice.

“Oh my god, you sound _awful_. What happened?”

He doesn’t even know where to start. He supposes there’s one bit he should get out of the way though. “Rory Gilmore.”

-


	4. What does Rory Gilmore eat for breakfast?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he walks in the door of her apartment, instead of a greeting, she comes storming into the room and yells, “How could you do this?” at the top of her lungs. And in case Logan can’t tell how mad she is, she stomps a foot and screams an incoherent noise at him. He may as well be coming home to a two year old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Shorter chapter, but the next few might be a little longer. I'll post again as soon as I can. Enjoy.
> 
> Bit of swearing in this chapter, for those who would like to know in advance, because I decided Odette is a bit of a swear-pants.

Odette is absolutely furious with him when he gets to Paris that weekend for the first of two extremely extravagant and horrifying engagement parties.

When he walks in the door of her apartment, instead of a greeting, she comes storming into the room and yells, “How could you do this?” at the top of her lungs. And in case Logan can’t tell how mad she is, she stomps a foot and screams an incoherent noise at him. He may as well be coming home to a two year old.

“Odette, god, could you not? You know I get migraines when I take the Eurostar, my head is pounding.” She is a piece of work when she’s this irate.

“Serves you the fuck _right_ Logan Huntzberger,” she insists as he pulls his luggage further into her apartment and collapses in a heap on her couch. “How could you do this? To yourself, to me? How could you so monumentally fuck this up? You have wanted to call this girl since the moment she put that engagement ring back in your hand, and I cannot for the _life_ of me figure out why you decided to open with ‘she’s my fiancée’, you absolute fuckwit! You could have said, ‘Oh, just some girl I know,’ or, ‘Hey, remember my work colleague Bobby?’ But no, Logan Huntzberger has to open with the most dumb as shit line in all of history.”

He groans and puts a hand over his face. “I know I messed up. If anybody knows how badly I messed up, it’s me. But what in the hell does this have to do with you?” He moves his hand and narrows his eyes at her.

“I will have you know that I am an avid Rory Logan shipper, I have been for quite some time,” she says with a high brow look towards him. “So it’s in both our best interests for you to unfuck this up.”

“Do we have a ship name?” he says dryly, rolling his eyes.

“Of course. It’s Rogan. Obviously.” She plops beside him on the couch. “So how are you going to get her to answer your calls then?”

“God, I don’t know Odette, I call her every day and I’ve heard nothing from her.” He feels awful, and this is the last thing he wants to talk about. He’d been hoping for a nap before this dumb party.

“Also, we’ll have to figure out a breakup story at some point.” It’s like she doesn’t even notice he’s there. “You know, for our parents. Obviously you’ll tell Rory the truth.”

Finally, as if through a haze of cloud cover, her words register in his brain. He furrows his brow. “Break up? Why would we break up?”

She rolls her eyes and hits him right in his diaphragm, hard enough to wind him. He makes an oomph and leans forward in an attempt to get some airflow back into his lungs.

“Obviously we’re not going to get married now that Rory’s back. I’m your best friend Logan. I wouldn’t do that to you.” She seems hurt that he’d even suspect her of it, but he’s still confused.

He sighs and slumps back against the couch again. “Rory’s not back. She doesn’t even want to answer my phone calls, I don’t think we should call off our engagement just because I saw her again.”

Odette sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes again. “Well obviously we’re not going to call it off straight away. We have engagement parties to attend. And I’m holding you to those because you owe it to me and it’ll help my parents think we’re serious about this marriage business. And of course, you’ll have to be the one to break my heart, because otherwise my parents will start to get suspicious again.”

He gives her a skeptical look. “And how are you going to explain to your parents that we’re still the best of friends even though I apparently broke your heart by ending our engagement?”

She shrugs, not worried apparently. “You’ll just have to avoid my parents. I’ll get a new fake boyfriend.”

“Agghh,” he groans in protest. “Don’t get a new fake boyfriend, just call Bobby and apologise!”

“No,” she says, sounding like a petulant child. “Besides, Bobby won’t forgive me that easily.”

“Why not?” Logan sits up a little again and looks at Odette seriously. “You love her. You should work things out with her.”

Odette shrinks into herself a little, her brow furrowing sadly. “Bobby’s furious about the whole engagement thing. I already tried to apologise, but she just yelled and swore at me and said I’m the worst.”

“Is that why you wanna call this off?”

A steely resolve comes over her face. “No. That’s about Rory. Bobby might be mad, but she doesn’t get it. Her parents don’t care that she’s gay. My parents will never speak to me again. I’m in this whole marriage scheme, but not if it’s gonna fuck things up for you.”

“Okay, so let’s just say… breakup pending. Rory won’t talk to me, and until she does, there’s no point in us calling this off.” Logan shrugs. “If this is really what you need Odette, I’m here, I’m in.”

“Okay,” she says, and it’s quiet for Odette. She doesn’t do quiet very often. “But promise you’ll tell me the second something happens with Rory. I don’t want you being a martyr for me. I’ll figure something out if I have to.”

He nods and takes her hand, giving it a squeeze of solidarity. “Okay.”

“Promise,” she says, sterner.

“I promise!” he insists, rolling his eyes.

She gives a curt nod and jumps up to ready herself for the party. “I picked out a matching tie for you, it’s in the bedroom.”

He calls after her as she disappears into her bedroom, “I asked her what she eats for breakfast now by the way. She said still pop-tarts.” Maybe if he just keeps telling her answers to her endless Rory Gilmore questions, she’ll forgive him eventually.

“Fuck off!” she shouts back.

It’s worth a shot.

-

“I only came because you told me this was business related.” Bobby is not happy to see him. He’d known coming into this that she wouldn’t be, but now that he’s sitting across from her absolute livid glare and hostile posture, he’s a little afraid.

“Well, it’s… personal business. Let’s look at it that way.” He shrugs. _Appear calm on the outside and you won’t startle or anger it further._

“I’d rather just leave,” she throws at him. “I’ve nearly finished my meal, because it’s not as if we had anything to _talk_ about during lunch, because you were still trying to pretend this was a business lunch. So I might as well just eat the last of it and go.”

“Please don’t,” he says, raising his hands as if to surrender. “I know you’re mad at me, but I’m just trying to be a good friend to Odette.”

“By helping her _lie_ to her parents about who she is? That’s _so_ helpful in the long run.” Bobby rolls her eyes and takes a good gulp of her wine. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be going back to work after this?”

She levels a stare at him. “Yes. And you won’t tell anyone I drank a lot at lunch, because you’re marrying my girlfriend instead of me.”

Logan gives her a halfhearted sheepish grin and shrugs. “Technically she’s your ex-girlfriend.”

She throws her napkin in his face. “Like it matters. You’re a prick. I’m your friend too.” She finishes the rest of her wine, takes a last bite of her steak and throw hers phone in her handbag. She stops in her preparations to leave and looks back at him with a condescending expression on her face.

“What are you going to do next for her then? Have a few kids?” Logan chokes on his wine at that, but she doesn’t stop there. “She’ll work you down till you agree to one and the next thing you know, you’ll have five? Is that what you want?”

He coughs a few times into the napkin she just threw at him, clearing his throat. “God no!” he insists, his voice still hoarse from choking. “We’ve had sex like, twice, eight years ago, and you were so mad at me then I’d never even think about it now.”

“That was the point,” she says with an eye roll.

“Besides,” he says. “I don’t want kids with her. And she wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. She’s making you marry her, isn’t she?” Bobby crosses her arms across her chest and sits back in her chair, like she’s got him on that one.

“She’s not making me.” He knows he sounds defensive but he wants her to grasp his autonomy. “She asked and I’m doing it because it’s what she needs right now. She’s genuinely afraid of her parents’ reaction, you can’t just force her into coming out because it’s most convenient for you.”

“And I can’t put my life on hold just because she’s scared she’ll lose her inheritance from a couple of born and bred arseholes. Oh no, she’ll have to make it on her own for two seconds!” Bobby throws her hands in the air dramatically. “I can’t believe you’re making this out to be my fault. Like I’m the bad guy here. You’re _marrying my girlfriend_.”

Logan sighs and puts his forehead in his hand. “It’s more than that, and you know it. If it was just about their money, Odette would dump the news on them in a heartbeat. She’d be scared and she’d whine about it, a lot, but she’d do it.”

Bobby gives him an unnerving stare and folds her fingers together, resting her chin on them. “Right, so what’s it about then? Enlighten me, seeing as you’re the one engaged to her. You must know all, O wise one.”

He narrows his eyes and stares right back. “They might be assholes, and they might not be as accepting as they should be. And yeah, they’ve got a lot of money. But they’re her parents, and she loves them. She wants their approval. It’s natural.”

She purses her lips and says, “Mm, well, you’d know, so I’ll have to trust you on that one.” She picks a stray olive off her plate and pops it in her mouth before grabbing her bag again. “We done?”

She doesn’t wait for him to answer, just stands up, grabs her jacket from the back of her chair and slides it under the table. “Bye Logan. Don’t call me. Thanks for lunch.”

Logan sighs and puts his head in his hands. God, he can’t do anything right.

-


	5. What does Rory Gilmore sound like when she's trying not to cry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he sees her name appear on his screen, he wonders if Finn might have changed the names around on his phone when he was here last week, but no, each time he’s called (twice since then), it’s been her distinctive voicemail on the other end.
> 
> He can’t answer his phone fast enough. “Rory?” He’s still not one hundred percent sure it’s her, so he figures he should check before he starts spewing words of explanation and apology.
> 
> “Logan.”
> 
> One of Odette’s thousands of questions pops into his head: what does Rory Gilmore sound like when she’s trying not to cry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Sorry about the longer time between posting chapters. Christmastime got in the way. I've been spending some much needed relaxing time with my family and friends. I'm not sure I'll get another chapter posted before Christmas, so no promises, but I'll do my best. But this chapter is longer than others, so there's that.
> 
> So after this chapter, there's only one or two more chapters before we start getting into stuff from the Revival, and what I'd like to know from you all is whether you want me to cover Logan and Rory's scenes from the Revival from Logan's perspective. A few of their moments and implied conversations etc. will be talked about in the story, as they're important to my version of things, but I am wondering if you guys would like to see all of their scenes from Logan's point of view. Let me know. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays etc.

It’s been too long. He thinks this to himself every day when he tries to get a hold of her, whether it be by text message or phone call or bloody sky writing. She doesn’t ever answer, except once, just a text to tell him to stop calling. But he really is ready to give up on her, when she calls him.

Odette isn’t in the country when she calls, and he’s glad of it. It’ll give him some time to figure out how to broach the subject.

When he sees her name appear on his screen, he wonders if Finn might have changed the names around on his phone when he was here last week, but no, each time he’s called (twice since then), it’s been her distinctive voicemail on the other end.

He can’t answer his phone fast enough. “Rory?” He’s still not one hundred percent sure it’s her, so he figures he should check before he starts spewing words of explanation and apology.

“Logan.”

One of Odette’s thousands of questions pops into his head: what does Rory Gilmore sound like when she’s trying not to cry?

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” Now is not the time to offer explanations or make excuses, clearly. One word from her and he knows that she just needs him to listen right now.

“It’s Grandpa. He’s had a heart attack. It’s bad. They don’t think…” Rory’s voice breaks and he can vividly imagine the face she’s making as she holds back the tears.

“What do you need? I can come there. I won’t be there till later tonight, but if you need me, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” It’s extravagant, it’s probably not something he should be offering, seeing as he’s seen her once in the last eight years and it didn’t exactly go well. But if she wants him, he’ll be there. He always has been there for Rory.

“No!” she says, panic in her voice. “No Logan, don’t come here. I just… I just needed to know that you’re there. You were… because you were here with me before and I… everything was easier when you were here with me. I just wanted… I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have called.”

“I’m glad you called,” he says, quiet. “There’s so much I wanna say.”

“No,” she says again, this time calm and measured, with a sniff tacked on the end. “Logan, I don’t want explanations or reasons or whatever twisted sentiments are going on in your head about what happened in Hamburg, okay? I just… need a distraction. And the last thing I need is to feel more guilt right now.”

“Ace, I have to–”

“Logan, _don’t_ ,” she interrupts him. “I’m serious. Odette is… just… something I don’t want to think about right now. I want to concentrate on something that doesn’t make me feel like drowning myself.”

Logan’s throat feels tight and thick at those words. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you need. Anything.”

“Just… tell me a story or something. What have Colin and Finn been up to lately?”

Logan chuckles into the phone, because even though the last thing he feels right now is amused, he can see that she needs something lighthearted right now. “You wouldn’t believe what Colin bought last time he got drunk.”

“Tell me it wasn’t a mail order bride,” Rory says, and he can hear her voice lightening.

“Worse.” He hates himself a little for not forcing the truth on her, about Odette, about the engagement, and he knows Odette will hate him too. But if what Rory needs is a laugh, he will happily fulfil his duty to her. _Whatever Rory needs,_ he tells himself again. _Anything._

-

It’s been about ten hours since Logan spoke to Rory. His work day is done, though he’s spent most of it worrying about Rory and becoming overwhelmed by a surprise sadness at the idea of Richard Gilmore dying. He’s struggling to imagine a world without the imposing man.

He’s also been debating with himself whether to mention all of this to Odette. She’ll be furious with him for not texting her immediately with the news, and equally mad that he hadn’t forced his explanation on Rory, even in her grief. But the longer he waits to tell her, the angrier she’ll be. He knows that. Nothing about this situation is ideal.

When he gets home from work, far too late for his liking (but that’s usual these days), he shoots Rory a quick text. He hasn’t heard from her much, just a couple messages to say there hasn’t been much change in Richard’s condition and she’ll let him know if she needs anything.

_‘Any change? I’m still here if you need me.’_

Instead of a response, his phone rings, Rory’s name appearing on the screen. He answers immediately, fearing the worst.

“Hey Ace. How’s things?” She’s always appreciated his ability to stay positive, even in the face of tragedy, so he tries his hardest not to let the worry leak into his voice too much.

She sniffs and says, “Worse.”

“Is he…?” How do you ask if somebody’s just died? Turns out he doesn’t have to put it in words. This is Rory Gilmore, after all.

“Not yet. But it’s not… it won’t be long. He’s not doing well.”

“What can I do?” Logan feels so helpless. Last time this happened, he’d been there. He could pay people for fish and pack up activities for Richard to do at the hospital. Mostly he could be there for Rory. Now, all he is, is a voice on the other end of the phone.

“Just… talk to me. I don’t know. I need distractions.” She pauses and he can hear her taking a deep breath and releasing it. “Tell me something you remember about Grandpa. Y’know, a good memory of him.”

“Are you… sure that’s what you want to talk about right now?” A million things spring to his mind immediately, but he’s a little afraid if he starts telling stories about Richard she’ll start crying and she might not be able to stop. She’ll have to cry eventually, he knows that, but he knows Rory, and he knows it needs to be later.

She sniffs and says, “Yeah. Just… I don’t know, tell me something you remember about him. Something happy.”

If it’s what she wants, he’ll give it to her. He always does. “You know I think one of my favourite memories of him was when he asked me in for a nightcap that one time. And he genuinely didn't realise he'd sounded like he was asking about my intentions to marry you.” It _is_ a happy memory, one that Logan thinks of fondly and he chuckles now over the phone. “He was so straightforward. No subterfuge, y'know? And I sat there thinking he was trying to grill me for information about a forthcoming engagement. Turns out he just wanted to know when you were going back to Yale.”

“Yeah. Grandpa’s funny like that. He… he's so different from Grandma. She's so manipulative and sneaky. In a good way, mostly. But he just tells it like it is, y’know?” She sniffs again and there's a heavy pause between them.

What do you say to somebody who's waiting for their grandfather to die? Logan’s not sure, which he hates. He's always known what to say to Rory, and now he’s at a loss.

After a few more silent seconds, he goes with, “Ace, please let me explain to you about–”

She doesn't let him finish this time either. “I don't want to hear about it. I need you right now, but if you try to keep making excuses, I'll hang up and I won't call again.”

There is another pause, and he knows she's waiting for his agreement. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place. “Okay,” he finally says quietly.

She sighs on the other end. “I'm so tired. I know I should probably be with him, with my mom and Grandma in his room, but I just… I _can’t_. I need a break for five minutes.”

“I'm sure they understand Ace.” Logan sits on his couch, still wishing he could be there to hold her hand or rub her back or get her food. Anything substantial.

“That's the thing,” Rory says, pain evident in her voice. “I don't know if Grandma does. Last time she was so busy, making plans and trying not to think about the possible outcome. But I don't think any of us really thought he would die then, y’know?”

“Yeah, it just didn't seem like his time,” Logan agrees.

“Now, Grandma just wants to sit by him and hold his hand. Because she _knows_ , we all know that this is it. I just… I don't want to sit by his bed and watch him die.” Rory lets out a few sobs then and Logan’s heart aches for her.

“I wish I could be there. I can still come if you need me. I'll be there in a heartbeat.” And maybe it'd give him a chance to explain properly.

“No, I don't want to…” Rory’s voice drops off suddenly, and though he has no reason to, he feels a kind of horror in the silence. “I have to go. My mom… she's… Grandpa’s…” All he hears then is the sound of her trying to hold in her sobs. “I have to go.”

“Go Ace. Be with your family. Let me know if you need _anything_. I…” He’d been about to say he loves her, but he has to squash that sentiment now. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Thank you Logan.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “I’ll… I'll try to contact you in the next few days.” He hears her staggered breathing for a few seconds before she says, “I have to go,” again and hangs up on him.

He drops his phone to the couch and tilts his head back, closing his eyes. _What does a world without Richard Gilmore feel like?_ he thinks to himself. _If it’s this tight feeling in my chest, it's awful._

-

 _‘Have you heard from Rory?’_ reads a text from Odette the next day.

The answer flows from his fingers like he'd decided ages ago that he wasn't going to tell her a thing. _‘No, still nothing. Maybe I should give up.’_

 _‘Is that what you want?’_ she shoots back quickly. She's a quick texter; she lives a life of leisure for the most part, so she always has time to text.

He thinks for a minute before sending her another text that says, _‘I think so. I don't want to spend more time pining after someone who clearly doesn't want me.’_ It’s true in a sense. Or it would be if he weren't in contact with Rory.

 _‘Maybe she'd want you if she knew the truth,’_ is Odette’s astute response. It causes a now familiar ache in Logan’s chest.

_‘She won’t answer my calls or texts, what else do you want me to do?’_

Odette is predictably indignant in her response, because in her mind there is always a way. _‘I don't know, send her an email. She’ll have to read it if you send an email! Or go see her. Just do something!’_

Logan chuckles to himself. Trust Odette to think of a solution like writing an email. _‘I'm not gonna write her an email. She could just delete it without reading it. I don't even have her email address. And no one emails anymore Odette.’_

He moves to put his phone away and then stops to send her another text. _‘What about you? Heard anything from Bobby?’_ He's worried about his friends. They fight and they break up and they want to kill each other half the time, but they love each other. And for every bit of drama between them, there’s five times as much love.

Her response is, _‘Bobby isn't speaking to me, like a child, so I have given up trying to reason with her. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept that my parents might still matter to me, even if they don't like the idea of me being queer.’_ This doesn't really help Logan feel less worried.

 _‘Have you tried?’_ he asks, because he can never be quite sure with Odette.

Odette sends him a dejected looking emoji, so he takes that as an offended yes.

 _‘I was just checking. So why don't you make a grand gesture then, seeing as you're advising me to do the same?’_ Logan feels his response makes a good point. Odette has always been quick to give advice and hesitant to receive it.

All she says is, _‘Shut up Logan.’_ So he gives up and puts his phone away to try and think about something else.

-

“I don’t know, I feel like I should feel different,” Rory says. “I mean, he’s gone. He was such a huge part of my life and he’s gone now, and I should feel different. But I don’t.”

Logan takes a breath before answering her, his phone feeling like a lifeline to her in his hand. “That’s only natural Ace. You’re not used to it yet. Life without him. It’ll take time to settle into the idea that he’s gone. And by the time you do, that will feel like your new normal. So maybe you’ll never feel drastically different.”

“I feel like I’m dishonouring his memory or something. Like my day to day life should be changing now that he’s not here anymore. But it doesn’t. It hasn’t changed at all. Is that… disrespectful to him?” Rory sounds hesitant and worried on the phone, but she seems steady, more stable since Richard’s death. It makes sense to Logan; it’s just like Rory. The waiting, the anticipation, it was killing her. But now that it’s all done, she can make her peace with it.

“I think it’s what he would have wanted,” Logan says. He’s not trying to bullshit her. He thinks of Richard Gilmore and he knows it’s true. The man would hate to think he’d disrupted Rory’s plans, her day to day busy life. “Richard always prioritised productivity over almost anything else.”

Rory lets out a long breath on the other end of the phone. “You’re right. He was always an efficient man.” He hears her sniff and there’s a pause before she continues. “It’s weird, talking about him in the past tense.” Logan can see Rory in his mind’s eye, crossing her free arm across her chest awkwardly, as if she’s holding herself together. It’s a time he’d usually be there to put a comforting hand on her back or an arm around her shoulders.

“Yeah. It’ll get a little easier as time passes, but I don’t know if you ever get used to it. Especially with someone as lively as Richard.” He collapses onto his couch and wishes for the millionth time that she’d let him fly there to be with her during all this. He wants to be at the funeral. He wants to sit by her and hold her hand and pass her tissues when she needs them. He wants her to cry into his shoulder. Mostly, he wants to remember later on with her what it was like. Because he wants to make sure there _is_ a later on with her.

“I just… I need something to do, y'know? I feel so helpless and useless, sitting around.” She chuckles, that sad chuckle of hers that means she’s not really amused, she just thinks she should be. “God, a second ago I was talking about how busy I’ve been and how I felt like I was offending Grandpa’s memory. But I still don’t feel like it’s enough. I need to be even busier, because I need to not think about it for a bit, y'know?”

“Why don’t you come here?” It’s out of his mouth before he can think twice about the logistics, but he wants to see her again desperately. And she needs a distraction.

There’s a hefty pause before Rory speaks again. “To London? Logan, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. I know I called you, but I’m still not… sure about the whole… I don’t know how I feel about… everything. I really don’t think… it’s not a good idea.”

“Rory…” He says her name like he used to, when he was trying to convince her of something, with a heavy sigh at the end. “Come on. You need some time away from everything, and it just so happens I’ve got an apartment here in London with just me in it." That's one way for him to say _Odette doesn't live here_ without using her name. "We’ll make a trip of it. You can tell everyone you’re here for work. Whatever you want.”

She sighs. “It does sound… I don’t know. It sounds great,” she says, relief and desire in her tone. “But I don’t think we should… do this.”

“I can tell you’ve already said yes in your mind,” Logan says, letting his amusement sneak into his voice. “You don’t have to worry about… any of the other stuff. We’ll work everything out when you get here, but for now, don’t worry about it.” He desperately wants to tell her what Odette is to him, the truth of the whole situation, but he’s still afraid she’ll hang up if he even mentions the name _Odette_.

She sighs again. “When would I even come?”

He grins. “Whenever you want Ace.”

“Well, I have to be here for the funeral, obviously.”

“Of course. Do you… I can come, if you want.” He wants to be there, but he’s not going to tell her that. It’s not something she needs to deal with right now.

“No Logan, don’t do that,” she says, unidentified emotion in her voice. He lets himself hope that it’s something like affection. “You’re already… what you’re doing for me already is enough. I’ll come after the funeral. I’ll let you know the details, okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, too much excitement leaking into his voice. “Just… let me know if you need anything. And whenever you’re coming, I’ll be there to pick you up and everything. And I’ll plan things. Theatre outings, picnics, whatever you want. Distractions.”

“Yeah.” Rory sounds a little choked up again. “That sounds perfect.”

“Anything for you Ace.” He should stop saying it to her, but he can’t quite help it, because it’s true.

“Logan,” she says.

“Yeah Ace?”

“Thank you. I… this is hard; it’s overwhelming. But I couldn’t do it without you.”

He swallows, his throat thick all of a sudden. “Whatever you need Ace.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Rory pauses again. He wonders if she’s waiting for something else, if he should try once more to explain. Before he can, she says, “I’ll call you in a couple days, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, it’s no trouble. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye Logan.”

He hangs up the call and lies back on the couch. Now all he has to do is figure out how to tell Odette about this. And how to tell Rory about Odette. God, he’d never thought this could all be so complicated. Everything had always been so easy with Rory, but now, when it’s important, he can’t stop tangling himself in knots.

Maybe he should write a book. Rory Gilmore, the girl he just can’t quit. It makes an alright title, he thinks to himself, before grabbing his phone where he’d dumped it next to him a moment ago and hoisting himself off the couch. He’s spent enough time in the last week thinking about Rory. He has work to do.

-


End file.
